Inspiring through pain: The remarkable story of Mother Seton
160 years ago, James Roosevelt Bayley, the first bishop of the missionary diocese of Newark, courageously established a small college. I wonder what went through his mind as he tried to decide on a name for this tiny institution. In the end, he did not name it after the Holy Trinity or after any individual Person of the Holy Trinity. He did not name it after Mary, the Blessed Mother of God. He did not name it after an Apostle or after any saint at all. He did not name it after its location. He named it after his Aunt Betty, whom we know better as Saint Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton.
Perhaps he did this because Elizabeth Seton was, even back in 1856, considered the Foundress of the Catholic School System. Perhaps he named it after his aunt because she already had a reputation for holiness. But she was not an inaccessible or distant individual as are so many saints. She was not a martyr. She did not bear the wounds of the Lord on her body. She had no mystical experiences. She did not appear in distant places at the same time; and neither Our Blessed Lord nor his Holy Mother ever appeared to her. Nor did they ever impart to her any messages, secret or otherwise, for the world. Instead, she was a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother, a widow – a woman who loved and was devoted to her family. This alone would constitute a full life. But she was an extraordinary woman who, in the latter part of her life, founded a religious community of sisters devoted to the care and education of the poor – a magnificent accomplishment. For which achievement, she became known as “Mother Seton.”
Who was this woman? What did she look like? There are no portraits of her that were done during her lifetime, so any representation of her appearance is either based on descriptions of her contemporaries or the imagination of the artist. At Seton Hall there is a statue of Mother Seton. It appropriately depicts a woman of action, hurrying in the wind, carrying books. It is a very handsome statue. I recall taking my mother around the campus in her later years, her nineties, in her wheelchair. We stopped at the statue. Mom looked at it and remained quiet. I said: “What do you think of it?” She responded: “It is a beautiful statue; but she’s wearing terrible shoes.” I knew better than to argue.
There is a fascinating image of Mother Seton at the university that many unknowingly have passed by. It is a stained-glass representation in Presidents Hall, installed by her nephew the bishop in the 1860s. He approved it so it may resemble her; although she died when he was six. This is, for me, the most intriguing portrayal of Elizabeth Seton. Her image in glass on a green background faces you. She looks directly at you. When you look carefully, you will see that the portrait is rendered so that there is a lead frame of green glass, exactly the same color and design as the background, forming a halo around her head. Her nephew had a premonition that she would be a canonized saint. It was Bishop Bayley’s expectation that, at some future date, his successors would be able to remove the green glass and replace it with a golden and glorious halo. Fortunately, they have not done so, and the window remains as a tribute to a nephew’s foresight and devotion.
Well, we do not know what Elizabeth Seton looked like, but we know a bit about her; and her life story demonstrates that she was a fascinating and accomplished woman. Many of her life experiences were like our own and, in faith, in difficult times, we should not hesitate to look to her example and to ask her help.
Elizabeth Bayley was born just before the American Revolution into a well-to-do New York family, of Anglican and French Huguenot background. She was very attached to her mother who died when she was three. Her father remarried and the young Elizabeth idolized her stepmother, who also was an example of Christian charity, generous to and working among the poor. Unfortunately, the marriage came on difficult times, her parents separated, and Elizabeth was not allowed to see her beloved stepmother. Her family was now divided, and she experienced a difficult childhood, occasionally falling into depression. In one way or another, I believe most of us can understand her situation and sympathize with her; as she can with us.
As a teenager, she fell in love. I am sure that sounds familiar to all parents of teenagers. And, at 19, she married William Seton, a wealthy New York merchant. They had five children. While bringing up her family, inspired by her stepmother’s example, she engaged in charitable work among the poor, what we today would call “social work.” With other Anglican women, she formed a group called the “Ladies of Charity,” in honor of the religious community of women founded by Saint Vincent DePaul. Today, all of us are called to service. Long before the phrase was coined, Elizabeth Seton truly was a “servant leader.”
All did not go well for long. A few years after their marriage, her husband’s business declined, and financial difficulties ensued. As if this were not enough, William Seton’s health deteriorated. Elizabeth and William scraped together some money and went to Italy in a vain attempt to restore his health in a more temperate climate. He died a year later, leaving her a widow at 28. The hardships of her life were greater than most of us have suffered, but I am sure some among us have suffered even more. Recognizing this aspect of her life, the Church officially has named Elizabeth Seton as patron saint of widows.
Elizabeth always had a contemplative and spiritual side. While in Italy, she became very close to the Catholic faith and soon after her return to the United States, she entered the Church. Her conversion infuriated her family, her husband’s family, and many friends; and she became an outcast. So strong was their anger, that when other members of Elizabeth’s extended family showed interest in the Catholic faith, her in-laws petitioned the New York State Legislature to exile her from the state. Fortunately, they failed; but she left New York soon afterward. Recognizing all of the difficulties that may occur in life, Elizabeth has been designated as patron saint of those who experience troubles with their in-laws. I am sure no one of you has ever had such problems.
Now a single mother with five children, shunned by most of her family; she had to make her way in life. Her journey was made more complicated by her hearing a call not only to religious life but to found a community of sisters to teach and care for poor children. For this, she is considered the patron of Catholic schools.
She had many challenges along the way. She had to provide for five children while seeking permission from Church authorities to take religious vows. During these years, she endured the greatest tragedy that can befall any parent, the death of two of her beloved children. Elizabeth Seton, the grieving mother, also is the patron saint of parents who suffer the loss of a child.
While she received support from Archbishop Carroll of Baltimore, other church leaders were not so accommodating and placed many obstacles in her way. Through patience and, yes, stubbornness, she resisted and overcame the opposition of various prelates and, while continuing to be mother to her children, simultaneously became the mother of a religious community of sisters. Lest anyone ever doubt that the Church recognizes the faults and foibles of its hierarchy and has a sense of humor, Elizabeth Seton has been designated as the patron saint of those who suffer unfairly from Church authorities. I hope I never shall be obliged to seek her assistance in this area of life.
Saint Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton’s life was a life of faith, of prayer, and of service. Recognized by the Church as a saint, she is not just another saint. What other saint is the patron of Catholic schools, of widows, of parents who lose a child, of those who experience trouble with in-laws, and, most fascinating to me, of those who suffer unfairly from church authorities?
She was quite a fascinating woman and she is quite an example to us all. Saint Elizabeth Ann Seton, pray for us!
Msgr. Robert J. Wister, Hist.Eccl.D. is a retired professor of church history at Immaculate Conception Seminary School of Theology, Seton Hall University, and writes historical articles for the publications of the Archdiocese of Newark.
