How ‘long-suffering’ can shape us for greatness
In the modern world, slowing down is not considered a virtue. If anything, we’re speeding up. We want everything faster, easier, and more conveniently. Everything slow and inefficient must be ruthlessly eliminated.
The great speeding-up has been happening for a while, but it seems to be picking up steam in recent years. I remember just a few decades ago being a college student and having rollicking debates with my friends at the bar over the date of a certain event, quote, or trivia fact. These days, those arguments no longer occur because, as soon as a question comes up, someone pulls out a phone and asks Grok.
It’s too bad, because those lively discussions meandered and delighted in all sorts of unexpected ways. It wasn’t unusual at all that, the next day after having looked up the disputed fact, I would admit that I was completely and hopelessly mistaken the night before. A ceremonial victory dance would take place as I accepted my defeat. There was something healthy about those drawn-out debates, to cross verbal swords, make jokes, become animated, and, later, graciously concede.
Those discussions were amateurish, wrong-headed, and so very entertaining. In the end, I learned a lot from them. Anytime I was proven wrong, I never forgot. But none of that ever happens these days because we immediately consult an online “expert,” everyone shrugs at the answer, and we never remember it (we can always Grok it again). We never acquire any memorable knowledge at all. The suffering of being proven wrong is now gone, but so is the triumph, the human conversation, and the creativity of conversation.
Because of how easy our lives have become we are no longer content to suffer even in small ways. If a website doesn’t immediately load, I close the tab in frustration. If the wi-fi buffers while I’m watching Netflix, I cry bloody murder. If my plane is delayed an hour, I beg God to tell me what grudge he could possibly be holding against me.
Patience and long-suffering
In short, the virtue of “long-suffering” is becoming vanishingly rare. It has become a symptom of what we assume has gone wrong when, in fact, it’s the sign that something is going right.
We all know that the most dangerous prayer is, “O Lord, give me patience.” The reason for the danger is, of course, that the only way to develop patience is to practice it, and the only way to practice it is to endure situations that are boring, frustrating, and annoying. Perhaps God answers your prayer for patience and providentially sends you into a massive traffic jam? Perhaps he sends you a talkative friend who desperately needs you to listen for an hour right in the middle of a busy day? O Lord, I am too weak for these trials!
Developing patience is dangerous enough, but an even riskier prayer is to ask for long-suffering, a virtue which is related to patience but isn’t quite the same. The risk in asking for long-suffering is right there in the word – it’s asking God to allow you to suffer well, often for a long time. I think that if I ever had the courage to pray for long-suffering, I would at least hedge a little bit; “O Lord give me long-suffering … but not yet.”
Patience is related to enduring the trials of the present moment, whereas long-suffering looks further down the road. It has the added difficulty of holding on to hope in the midst of a delayed good. A Catholic martyr, for instance, possesses heroic long-suffering, willing to suffer in the present moment for the greater good of Heaven.
Being shaped for a greater destiny
Perhaps another helpful way to distinguish between patience and long-suffering is to say that patience focuses on enduring suffering in the moment, and long-suffering focuses on the good to be obtained later. Both are necessary for our happiness, and both are acquired only through active practice. If long-suffering is focused on the future in hope, it cannot be practiced with resignation or passivity. Rather, it’s an active form of waiting. It helps us allow even the darkest moments of our lives to shape us towards ultimate happiness.
None of us specifically asks God for a heavy cross of suffering to carry, but when such a cross is given, long-suffering responds in trust and strives to unite the suffering with that of Christ. Someone who suffers well, keeping in mind eternal hope, draws very near to Our Lord. Because of this, some of the great saints were fond of saying that, if we suffer, it reveals how much God loves us.
When we suffer, we should always keep in mind that we are being shaped by it for a great destiny. We suffer with and for the entire cosmos, becoming part of God’s redemptive plan. It occurs to me that we have two paths before us. The first is the way of the modern world that worships speed, comfort, and pleasure. The other is the way of a slow, difficult building-up of the character. The first prioritizes the present moment and rejects any idea that patience and suffering could possibly result in any good. The second seeks to connect with a greater love, a love willing to suffer for the beloved, a love marked by joy and hope and possibility.
The virtue of long-suffering is revelatory. Practiced well and patiently, it is the knowledge that we are loved, we have a purpose and are even now being prepared for something better.
This article was written by Fr. Michael Rennier for Aleteia.
Featured image: Moonrise Over the Sea (1822) by Caspar David Friedrich (Alte Nationalgalerie, Berlin/ Public Domain)
