Advice from St. Nicholas himself on how to give better gifts
Don’t look now, but Christmas is just around the corner. Some of you may have had your gift shopping done for months now, or some of you may be like me and rush to the mall on Christmas Eve to desperately roam the halls and hope inspiration for the perfect gift will strike.
Eventually, though, I’ll settle on a basket of fancy soaps and lotions and hope for the best. I would love to take more time and choose more meaningful gifts. It’s just that I don’t seem to be very good at choosing that perfect, meaningful item.
We all love the idea of choosing the perfect gift. No one wants to be responsible for the lame gift that never gets used, but choosing the ideal present is a mysterious art form. You don’t have to be the Michelangelo of gift-giving to know that you shouldn’t give someone a fruitcake (unless you baked it yourself and it’s super delicious) or some other last-minute, generic item.
The people who are good at gift-giving aren’t simply lucky. They put time and effort into it and, I suspect, take a lot of delight in the idea of bringing joy to others.
Saint Nicholas, the gift-giver
One of the people who can help us be more thoughtful gift-givers is none other than St. Nick himself. St. Nicholas, whose feast is celebrated on December 6, was a real person who lived in the 4th century in what is now Turkey.
The most famous story of his generosity involves three sisters who had no money for a dowry, meaning they’d never be able to marry, which at the time made for a difficult life for a woman.
When Nicholas learned about their predicament, he climbed on their roof and dropped bags of gold down the chimney – this is where the tradition of putting gold coins in stockings or shoes by the fire on St. Nicholas Day comes from. Talk about a wonderful gift! The sisters were now able to marry, start families, and forge ahead with happy lives of their own.
Imagine if, hearing about the sisters, St. Nick ran to the mall and bought them a gift certificate. It would have been generous in its own way, but perhaps not the best gift for them. So, what principles did he follow to choose the gift that would bring the most meaning and joy?
Know the person
Nicholas knew the sisters. He knew they wanted to marry, had no money, and were unhappy about it. He also knew their father was ashamed of his inability to provide for his daughters, so the gift was for him, too. After discovering the gold, the tearful father found Nicholas and said, “If it were not for your goodness… I would have long since consigned my life to ruin and shame.”
If he hadn’t taken the time to understand this family and get to know them personally, Nicholas would never have known the perfect gift for them.
It’s the same with us when we give gifts. The better we know someone — what their hobbies are, what needs they might have, what kind of restaurant or coffee shop they like — the better our ability to give a good gift. This means that a good gift-giver is a good friend year-round and a good listener who takes an interest when others express themselves.
In a way, most of the joy of giving gifts comes before they are even unwrapped, because it is such a worthwhile experience to get to know another person and discover their unique personality. Seeing their eyes light up when they rip off the wrapping paper is just a bonus.
Nicholas gave a gift that would specifically bring joy to those three sisters. He didn’t get them something that he personally would have liked. That’s how we say to that person – I love you exactly the way you are.
This article was written by Father Michael Rennier for Aleteia.
