Social media rules to follow with children (Child Abuse Prevention Month)

As an employee or a volunteer within your diocese or organization, there may be times when you need to communicate via technology with children and youth within your ministry or program. This brings us to a question we frequently hear at the VIRTUS® Programs: Do we need to treat in-person interactions more carefully than electronic interactions?

You will certainly hear a different answer to this question depending on whom you ask. When it comes to transparency and monitoring interactions, it’s just as important to follow appropriate standards for electronic interactions as it is for in-person interactions. It’s important to have transparency and monitoring in our actions as we follow appropriate standards in online environments because they involve situations that are already inherently more isolated than face-to-face communication. In this way, our in-person interactions serve as our baseline approach, and we incorporate more checks and balances in environments involving technology. Technology such as social media, email, text, and texting apps can be great tools that help us as we serve others in ministry, and they can be beneficial in expanding avenues of communication. However, like any tool, communication through technology must be used appropriately and safely, or it can cause significant harm.

The Archdiocese of Newark is committed to helping survivors of childhood sexual abuse heal. Gina Criscuolo, the Coordinator of the Office of Accompaniment, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, provides compassionate and supportive assistance to those who have been harmed in the church. Please visit www.rcan.org and click Protect/Report, or call 201-407-3256.

Below are some general guidelines for safe adults in ministry, whether you are communicating with youth who are involved in your ministry or who are simply associated with the ministerial environment. Reviewing these guidelines encourages us to engage with healthy boundaries, helps us to be proactive with any type of technology, and helps us to model appropriate online behavior for the children in our care.

DO NOT

• Do not use your personal social media accounts to “friend” or “follow” children in your ministry. Do not email from a personal email address.

• Do not create a ministry-specific account without your organization’s permission.

• Do not “troll” any child or youth’s personal social media accounts, comment on them, or try to obtain more information about the child based on what they post.

• Do not take or post photos or videos of youth on any social media account, unless you have approval from the organization (such as for inclusion in a parish or school newsletter), signed, parental permission, and subsequent permission from the child himself/herself.

• Do not “chat,” “private message” or “text” children one-on-one.

DO

• Read and follow the rules regarding social media usage from your parish, school, diocese, or overarching organization. Speak with your organization if they do not have any policy or rules, or if the policy needs to be strengthened.

• Contact children and youth only utilizing social media platforms approved by your organization.

• Request that your organization create a ministry-specific email address that you can utilize to communicate with youth, instead of a personal one. Behave with transparency in all electronic interactions, which can mean copying a parent listserv to all interactions, or utilizing an app (approved by your diocese) to text youth so that the content is not coming from your own phone number or your personal account.

• Keep your own social media profiles and pages tidy and clean; be aware of clothing, what is portrayed by the images you share or are tagged within, perceptions that you could lend to others, be mindful of removing images/jokes involving alcohol, etc. (This is simply a good practice in general, and most useful in case kids do come across your accounts).

• Set your personal accounts to “private” so it isn’t as easy for children to “stumble” across your personal material. Your relationship with people in ministry is predicated upon your role, and not your personal life.

• Communicate with youth during appropriate timeframes-the same timeframes that you would generally call a “landline.”

• Refer children to your office hours if they contact you “after hours.” It helps to clearly state this in advance, that you are available between “xy” hours, and that messages will not receive responses until those office hours.

• Be “friendly” with minors in social media interactions, but avoid being a “peer” type of friend.

Additionally, if you receive a “friend” or “follow” request on a personal social media account from a child or youth, do not accept it. Instead, refer them to the parish, school, or program social media account. If you are meeting with a child or youth via a video-based option (such as Zoom), take steps to keep it transparent, such as inviting another adult to participate in the meeting, or having yourself within the sight and hearing of other adults.

One of the most important ways to protect children and youth is to maintain an ongoing dialogue with them about healthy social media interactions. It is also helpful to familiarize yourself with current trends and popular apps, as youth may come to you (one of their safe adults) with questions. Sometimes children may come to you with a disclosure of abuse that happened to them in the past, or that is currently happening or perhaps is about to happen. We always believe children when this occurs and report it to the appropriate entity. To report any disclosed or suspected sexual exploitation of a child or youth, call the child protective services within the state. If a child is experiencing abuse via social media or other electronic means, you can help them to make a report to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children’s CyberTipline2 or make a report on their behalf. You can also contact law enforcement.

Social media can be a wonderful tool that can enhance communication within a parish, school, or other program as long as it’s used appropriately and in a way that promotes healthy boundaries. If you have any questions about your organization’s social media policy, please reach out to them directly for more information.

For more information go to the Archdiocese of Newark Protection of the Faithful website.