Priest and man with autism share special bond through concerts
Ben Hack loves the entire congregation at St. Joseph Catholic Church in Maplewood, but his friendship with Father Jim Worth is special. Father Worth makes sure to acknowledge Hack — who has autism — whenever he can during his homilies, and Hack always laughs the loudest when Father Worth tells a joke. The 22-year-old admires his priest so much he even lowers his sunglasses, which Hack adamantly prefers wearing on top of his head, down to his eyes in imitation whenever Father Worth puts on his reading glasses.
Clearly the pair have a strong bond, which is why it was especially tough on Hack when COVID-19 restrictions prevented him from attending Mass in-person. Fortunately, Father Worth devised a unique way of staying connected. Drawing on their shared love of music, the priest began playing virtual concerts filled with Hack’s favorite songs to show his parishioner he is still with him in spirit.
And Hack couldn’t be happier.
“He’s really excited by it,” Mary Beth Walsh, Hack’s mother, said. “He doesn’t necessarily like the limelight, but the concerts are huge for him. And it’s been really nice to allow him to feel like he’s still connected because the sense of isolation, especially for individuals with autism, has been terrible during the pandemic.”
Walsh acknowledged the COVID-19 pandemic has been hard for her son, who thrives on routine like many other individuals who have autism. Going from a full schedule of day programs and church events to a lockdown at home was a difficult transition. Making matters worse, she said Hack only understands what he experiences daily. So, if he can’t see his friends every day, she said, he doesn’t fully grasp that they’re still there for him.
It’s time to change the false narratives about individuals with disabilities, to imagine the possibilities instead of the old stereotypes.
Anne Masters, director of the Archdiocese of Newark’s Office for Pastoral Ministry with Persons with Disabilities
That’s why Father Worth’s Facebook Live concerts have been so helpful. For one, they show Hack so many people in the congregation continue to support him even if they’re not physically with him. They also create a sense of normalcy for Hack, giving him something to look forward to while also reminding him of his old routine. Plus, he simply loves the performances — to the point he even rearranged his schedule just to see them.
“His favorite thing in the world is his Tuesday night little trip to the grocery store, but when he found out Father Jim’s concert was on a Tuesday night he was like ‘We’ve got to move shopping,’” Walsh said. “The concert was more important than going to the grocery store. It was more important than getting out of the house.”
Father Worth’s concerts are nothing elaborate — they just feature him at his piano — but each one is extremely meaningful. For instance, the shows typically feature a lot of songs like “God Bless America” because Hack loves patriotic music. Father Worth also playfully turns standards like “Danny Boy” into “Benny Boy” in honor of his parishioner.
Father Worth always makes sure to wear something that will resonate with Hack, too. At his most recent performance, he sported orange-framed glasses because he knew orange is Hack’s favorite color. He also bought matching hooded sweatshirts so they both could wear the same outfit in solidarity.
Then there’s “All Are Welcome.” The 1995 Marty Haugen hymn is one of Hack’s favorite songs, so Father Worth loves to play it for him. But the priest also likes “All Are Welcome” because it reflects his own belief church is for all God’s children. That includes persons with disabilities, even if they make noises during Mass.
“The church is their house as much as it is anybody’s house, and God certainly wants them to be there,” Father Worth said. “The church is alive when the whole family is here, not just the quiet ones. I’ve instilled in the congregation that I don’t want to worship in a monastic chapel — I want it to be lively. What we try to do is not make a spectacle of anyone who has needs and at the same time make them feel welcome.”
Generating participation
To foster this sense of openness, Father Worth never gives an irritated facial expression or any other indication he’s annoyed by a vocal disruption from anyone, including someone with a disability. Instead, he either ignores the sound or incorporates it as a humorous moment in his homily. He also frequently discusses the importance of empathy in his sermons, invites congregation members with disabilities to church events, and makes sure to connect with their families to let them know they are always welcome.
Such behavior is all part of Father Worth’s mission to ensure no one is marginalized in the parish. Having grown up with distended cranium disorder, he said he understands what it’s like to be bullied, which is why he never wants anyone to feel they are different. The problem, he said, is many of his fellow pastors are not educated about conditions like autism and therefore don’t show compassion when interacting with parishioners with disabilities. As a result, he said the congregation picks up on this response and treats those with disabilities harshly.
This all leads to families of people with disabilities feeling so uncomfortable they stop attending Mass. That’s tragic, Father Worth said, because Christians should love everyone. That means being respectful of all people, regardless of their abilities or disabilities.
“Individuals with disabilities have the same needs as everyone else, though they may require more intentionality,” Father Worth said. “They don’t want to be treated with anger or pity. They just want to be treated like everyone else.”
The need for compassion
The Catholic Church understands the need to support people with conditions like autism and has been calling for it since 1978 in the US Bishops Pastoral Statement on Persons with Disabilities. Pope Francis has called on the Church to foster greater participation of persons with disabilities as recently as 2020.
But statistics show persons with disabilities may still be facing difficulties when it comes to religion. A 2018 study from the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion found the odds of an autistic child never attending a religious service were nearly twice as high as the odds of a non-autistic child. Likewise, a 2016 survey from Georgetown University’s Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate showed that 65 percent of large parishes and 87 percent of small parishes do not have an employee responsible for including persons with disabilities.
Having a priest like Father Worth is a huge asset in the Church’s mission to promote the meaningful participation of persons with disabilities in parishes, according to Anne Masters, director of the Archdiocese of Newark’s Office for Pastoral Ministry with Persons with Disabilities. Masters said she greatly appreciates Father Worth because he’s teaching the congregation individuals with autism and other disabilities should not be defined by their condition. In fact, she was so impressed by his efforts that she recently recruited him to co-lead an online course on how to accompany individuals with autism who have complex behavior and communication support needs.
“We are blessed to have a number of priests in the Archdiocese who appreciate individuals with disabilities as indispensable members of the body of Christ,” Masters said. “However, still too often individuals and families struggle to feel they are appreciated or that they truly belong. To feel like one belongs, that is what all people want. This means feeling cared for, needed, supported, welcome, and missed, among other things.
“It’s time to change the false narratives about individuals with disabilities, to imagine the possibilities instead of the old stereotypes,” she continued.
Looking ahead, Masters hopes Father Worth’s example inspires other priests to realize parishioners with autism and other disabilities should be neither shunned nor put on a pedestal because of their disability. She said everyone can grow and flourish when provided with with appropriate supports, such as what Father Worth and the parish have given Hack.
Walsh also values Father Worth’s presence in her son’s life, pointing out that he’s maintained a spirit of friendliness among all parishioners. At the same time, she said the St. Joseph’s congregation has welcomed Hack with open arms even before Father Worth arrived, ever since she started bringing him to church as an infant. She encourages other parents of individuals with autism to take their sons and daughters as well, stressing that attending Mass is a great way of establishing a routine and learning how to be quiet in public settings. It’s also an ideal place for them to establish genuine connections with people other than family members and people who are paid to be with them, which Walsh said is often difficult to do.
Such connections have certainly been crucial for Hack throughout his life, Walsh said.
“When Ben was young, I remember wrestling in my head ‘How will he ever have a personal relationship with Jesus when he can’t see him?’ because he can’t imagine that which he can’t see,” Walsh said. “That bothered me for a little bit, but then I realized he was going to have a personal relationship and it was going to be through the other members of the body of Christ. And that is what happened.”
Those with concerns or questions about loved ones with a disability attending Mass or participating in parish life can contact the Archdiocese of Newark’s Office for Pastoral Ministry with Persons with Disabilities for help. More information is available at https://www.rcan.org/disabilities.
