From Hate to Hope: Prayer service brings together marginalized voices for powerful testimony of healing
On a Sunday afternoon, Dec. 11, Our Lady of Grace Church in Hoboken hosted an Advent prayer service called “From Hate to Hope: How Do We Belong?” The program contained a mixture of prayers, hymns, and testimony from six people of diverse backgrounds who have faced or witnessed discrimination. The goals? To lessen hatred and eliminate violence through prayer and understanding, and to promote acceptance and inclusion for all people.
Father Alex Santora, the pastor of Our Lady of Grace, coordinated the prayer service and stressed the importance of being a welcoming church.
“If we are truly a church, it is for everyone. For anyone who comes in, you’re welcomed,” he said. “I think one of the things we can do is to help people have a feeling that they belong.”
The six speakers shared their stories illustrating just how challenging it is for many people to find a welcoming environment in the United States, and how hate manifests in many ways.
David Furtzaig, a Jewish man, has witnessed a long history of anti-Semitism inflicted on his family. His grandparents emigrated from Poland to Brooklyn in 1921, while the family that remained in Europe was “decimated by World War II.” He noted that those who immigrated to the United States faced anti-Semitism back then. And even now it’s apparent in New York, he said, along with other bigotry.
“About two months ago, I entered the subway platform and was reading a map. A man on my right side was complaining about an older Chinese woman, who was also looking at the map, to the effect of ‘What are you doing here causing Covid?’ I thought it was very strange and looked at the individual with a questioning face, and before I could say anything he was quick to say, ‘What are you looking at you long-nosed Jew?’ My initial reaction was disbelief, and then I realized he was lashing out at anyone who stood in his way,” Furtzaig said.
This echoes the testimony of Clarissa Martinez, an Asian woman. She spoke on the rise of hatred towards Asian Americans, especially since the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. It is believed that the virus first began in Wuhan, China in 2019.
In the first year of the pandemic, she said, “Over 9,000 hate incidents were reported according to the Stop Asian Hate Coalition, which was formed during the pandemic to help track and respond to these types of attacks closer to home.”
Just like with Furtzaig, Martinez attested to how hate and violence aren’t decreasing in New York.
“Just two weeks ago, an Asian American couple on the subway from Grand Central was approached by three people yelling anti-Asian insults, and one of them punched the man and fled to Times Square,” Martinez said.
Hate can escalate from harsh words to violence, to death, she said.
Gary Stavella, a gay man, recounted just how terrifying it has been to grow up and witness violence and death against the gay community.
He mentioned the police raid of New York’s Stonewall Inn in 1969, the arson attack of New Orleans’ UpStairs Lounge in 1973, the mass shooting at Orlando’s Pulse Nightclub in 2016, and the mass shooting at Colorado Springs’ Club Q less than a month ago.
Like Furtzaig and Martinez, Stavella spoke about his fear of violence that arises from ignorance. He also spoke about how ignorance caused fear – especially during the height of the AIDS epidemic.
“When it became apparent that the vast majority of the cases were among gay men, we were summarily rejected – even by our church at the time, which slammed its doors in our faces,” he said.
The feeling of rejection, of being invisible, was a common theme among the speakers.
Michael Guarchaj, a Hispanic man who immigrated to the United States, spoke through a translator about being isolated from both his home country and in his new country.
“We’re far from our family. We arrive here alone most of the time and we often lack resources. It’s difficult to find a doctor if we get sick, and people give us a very hard time because our English is not good. This results in frustration and hatred,” he said.
Hatred, Guarchai said, is amplified by the misconception of some people as to why he came to the United States in the first place.
“We come here simply to work. We’re not here to cause any problems. And often people don’t understand that,” he said.
That lack of understanding and hate has been augmented by social media in recent years, as two other speakers attested to.
Laetitia Domi, a black woman and French expatriate, expressed how lucky she feels to “live her dream” in the United States, especially in the multicultural hub of New Jersey where she has resided for 11 years.
“But one thing I know is that when my brothers come to visit me from France, I always tell them to be careful and behave very well once they go out,” she said. “The last couple of years, I saw an increase of hatred and violence against all minorities in America. People are getting killed just because of who they are. It can be related to their religion, their skin color, or their sexual orientation.”
And in her opinion, social media has played a significant role in the increase of hatred and violence.
“Anyone can say anything without being challenged or held accountable,” she said. “What is the limit between freedom of speech and protection of American citizens?”
Cara Guerra, a mother of two children, spoke from the vantage point of protecting her children from the violence and hate that is readily espoused online – something she wasn’t exposed to growing up.
“People in the past, who would have mumbled hurtful slurs in their own living room, now have the ability to shout them from the rooftops of Twitter. As a parent in these times, I am not only responsible for teaching love and acceptance, but also overseeing what my kids are exposed to by limiting social media and monitoring internet searches.”
So how do we improve? Where is the healing in all this hurt?
Many of the speakers had similar answers. Healing is fostered in unity, in communities that are welcoming and willing to listen.
Many noted that Our Lady of Grace Parish was one such community.
As Stavella, who was once turned away by a church, stated: “I don’t think Jesus ever said, ‘Go your separate ways – you go over there and you go over there,’ but said, ‘Come together in my name.’”
Come together and also bring people in, Father Santora said.
“There is something beautiful, in as much as we are all so different, we are all together,” he said. “That sense of belonging is something we should advocate so that anyone who has the need can be a part of something larger than themselves.
“People feel excluded. They feel that the world has passed them by…maybe, in our sense of belonging, we reach out to people and help them come along,” he said.
On the same morning as the prayer service in Hoboken, Pope Francis said in his Angelus: “We have our ideas, our prejudices and we attach rigid labels to others, especially those we feel are different to us. Advent, then, is a time for overturning our perspectives, for letting ourselves be surprised by God’s mercy.
“Advent is a time in which, instead of thinking about gifts for ourselves, we can give words and gestures of consolation to those who are wounded, as Jesus did with the blind, the deaf, and the lame.”
Featured image: David Furtzaig speaks about Jewish discrimination during an Advent prayer service at Our Lady of Grace Church in Hoboken on Dec. 11. (Archdiocese of Newark / Joe Jordan)
