How do you stay in love after 50 years of marriage? Bob and Anne can tell you

Bob and Anne Wischusen remember when he asked her to his high school dance in 1964 like it was yesterday. It happened on a street corner in Roselle when Anne was on her way to school with Bob’s sister, Carol.

“He waited on the corner where I used to walk to pick up his sister for school, and he was rummaging through his book bag, and I said, ‘hello,’ and proceeded on my way to school with his sister,” Anne recalled. “We got about 10 feet away, and Carol said, ‘OK, we need to stop because my brother wants to ask you something.’”

That is when Bob asked Anne to the dance, thus beginning a 58-year relationship.

On Sunday, Bob, 74, and Anne, 73, commemorated their 50th wedding anniversary at Newark’s Cathedral Basilica of the Sacred Heart. They were among 150 couples blessed by Cardinal Joseph W. Tobin, C.Ss.R., archbishop of Newark. It was the first time the Golden Anniversary Mass was held since the COVID-19 pandemic began. Bob and Anne will celebrate their 52nd wedding anniversary on June 27.

The couple, who live in Garwood and are long-time parishioners and volunteers at St. Helen in Westfield, said the anniversary Mass was very meaningful to them. They had been looking forward to being with Cardinal Tobin. They attended with close cousins who were married shortly after they were.

Bob and Anne Wischusen, who live in Garwood and are long-time parishioners and volunteers at St. Helen in Westfield, commemorated their 50th wedding anniversary at Newark’s Cathedral Basilica of the Sacred Heart on May 15, 2022. They were among 150 couples blessed by Cardinal Joseph W. Tobin, C.Ss.R., archbishop of Newark. It was the first time the Golden Anniversary Mass was held since the COVID-19 pandemic began. (Photo courtesy of Sean Quinn/Archdiocese of Newark)

Faith is an integral part of the couple’s lives. Anne is involved in several small faith-sharing groups and the two volunteer in the homeless outreach ministry at the parish. They taught religious education when their children were young.

“Whenever they’re looking for extra hands in the church, they know they can always call,” Anne said. “We’ll always say yes to whatever help they need. Everybody knows if you ask Bob to do something, you’re going to get Bob and Anne. And if you ask Anne to do something, you’re going to get Anne and Bob. We always support each other in whatever the other person is doing.”

What’s the secret to making a marriage last 50 years?

According to Anne, it’s essential to do things together, but it’s also important to have other interests you can call your own. For example, Anne gardens and Bob plays golf and is a faithful participant in the activities of their nine grandchildren.

“He goes to all their games and activities,” Anne said. “I get to some of them, but Bob really goes to everybody’s. I have a group of women friends that I have played bridge with for 40 years, and we both have a friend group: five couples that we have been close to for 40 years.”

Bob says their marriage has been a wonderful experience and says Anne is the greatest thing that ever happened to him.

“I never really worried about our relationship deteriorating,” Bob said. “I just knew that together we could deal with anything, so we’re very, very lucky. And I tell my children that too: how lucky we are.”

Bob and Anne Wischusen give an interview about their successful marriage of nearly 52 years prior to the start of the Golden Anniversary Mass at Newark’s Cathedral Basilica of the Sacred Heart on May 15, 2022. (Video by Sean Quinn/Archdiocese of Newark)

Bob said he appreciates that they made time to do things together over the years.

“Even when our children were little, we would consciously make a time to either get a couple of days away or go out on a date night so, as a result, our relationship always stayed fresh and exciting and new and fun. We never lose sight of what’s most important, and that’s our relationship.”

Anne said she also feels lucky and that she and Bob have grown their relationship over time.

“I married the right guy,” Anne said. “We have had sort of a charmed life, certainly not without some problems along the way. We raised four children. We’ve moved a number of times, but our marriage has always been strong, and we’ve always been very secure in our relationship.”

Disagreements and arguments are a reality, Anne said.

“You’ll solve it, and you’ll be stronger because of it,” she said. “It’s all part of growing your relationship over time. It really does get stronger, and it does get better. And we’re at the fun point in our life now. We have grandchildren. We’re not building careers. We really can sit back and enjoy our family and friends, and life is good.”

Featured image: Bob and Anne Wischusen. (Courtesy of Anne Wischusen).