Alone and pregnant: Young moms find hope in archdiocesan ministry
At age 20, Lexi found herself unexpectantly pregnant and on the verge of becoming homeless. Desperate for help and unsure if she should be planning for a birth or an abortion, Lexi connected with the Archdiocese of Newark’s Respect Life Office after hearing about it from a friend. Before long, Lexi had a roof over her head and a supportive team at her side providing the resources she needed to survive and raise her child.
“Saving babies and helping young moms in need is what we’re all about,” said Cheryl Riley, who directs the Respect Life Office and the Mercy House, two resources for new and expectant mothers. “We really just embraced Lexi and showed her that she wasn’t alone and that it was okay to keep her baby.”
Riley helped Lexi navigate some of the cumbersome nuances of the state welfare system and get temporary housing. Next, she secured an apartment for her in East Orange thanks to donors who covered the security deposit and first month’s rent.
“Lexi works but she just needed that little bit of extra help,” explained Riley.
Lexi’s baby, Jayceon, is almost a year-and-a-half now and was baptized over the summer in the chapel at Mercy House in Newark. Mercy House is also a key resource for baby wipes, diapers, food, and clothes that serves needy families in Newark.
Lexi and her boyfriend are committed to raising Jayceon and making their relationship work. They are each employed, and Lexi continues to live in the same apartment Riley helped secure for her over a year ago.
She calls Riley “Aunt Cheryl” and said she has made a huge difference in her life.
“She’s a good person,” Lexi said. “What a good heart. She just helped me my whole way. Me and my kid aren’t homeless.”
It was a nice moment when Jayceon was baptized, Lexi said. She was surrounded by family, friends, and of course, Riley. The two are in regular communication, and Riley said her office is committed to helping Lexi and other women in similar situations.
“We’re here to help with the whole journey,” Riley said. “We’re not just going to say after two years, ‘Sorry, your baby is two and we’re not helping you anymore.’”
And now Lexi, like the women who came before her, is paying it forward by assisting other young pregnant women in need.
One of those women is a shy 18-year-old named Kayla from Kearny who is five months pregnant and on her own with no support system. Kayla was connected to Riley and the Respect Life Office through a teacher who reached out to a local religious order, who in turn called Riley for help. Riley rallied her network and lined up an apartment, new bed, and couch for Kayla.
“The parishes and donors have been overwhelmingly supportive,” Riley said. “We are letting her know that her baby is wanted and we’re going to help her. She was getting pressure to abort, but she’s not. She’s going to keep her baby.”
Riley said when young women like Kayla or Lexi become unexpectantly pregnant, the reaction from parents or guardians can be swift and sometimes cruel.
“It’s that initial shock,” she said. “A lot of times it’s not: ‘Oh gee, I’m going to be a grandmother.’ It’s, ‘Get out of the house. How can you do that?’ Maybe they don’t like the boyfriend. They don’t like the situation. And there’s a lot of reaction that takes place, and the last thing the girl needs is that.”
Whatever the circumstances, the important thing is there is a precious new life that takes No. 1 priority over everything, and a young mom who needs help, Riley said.
“We want to keep the baby safe because we live in the state of New Jersey, and abortion is legal up to nine months here,” she said. “We have to really work hard telling this girl that we’re going to commit to you, because at five, six, seven months she can go and say, ‘You know what, I’m just going to abort.’”
Riley said that when working with young pregnant women, the key is positive reinforcement and getting them excited about becoming a mother.
“When they come to me, I just treat it like we’re going to have this baby,” she said. “I just say, ‘Wow, you’re pregnant. Congratulations. You’re going to be a mom, and now we’re going to help you.’”
She encouraged Kayla and Lexi to go online and make a wish list for their babies.
“We get them excited about it so it’s real and they know this is their baby even though society says you can just go and abort that baby and your life will be better,” Riley said. “There’s a better way.”
For more information about the Archdiocese of Newark’s Respect Life Office and Mercy House click here.
The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops last year launched a nationwide initiative to serve pregnant and parenting mothers facing difficulties, entitled Walking with Moms in Need. Dioceses and parishes are encouraged to implement Walking with Moms in Need in their local area. Click here for more information.
Jersey Catholic has chosen to withhold the last names of the women mentioned in this article.
